And yes, Ms. Bachmann, that Congress.
Oh good grief, Michele Bachmann (R-Crazy) is loose again and she’s making even less sense than she normally does in her never-ending quest to mislead the public on health care reform.
Tea Party Freedom Fighters
In her latest edition, we MUST fight our arch-enemy: Congress. That socialist, fascist, communist tool for President Obama and his evil health care bill, which is 2,ooo 1,900 pages long. (That’s 2,000 in Republican pages, 13,300 in dog pages.)
Bachmann wants you to know that this is the 11th hour in the “Superbowl of Freedom” and soon it will be too late to stop the evil government takeover of health care! (The health care bill is the “crown jewel of socialism” you know.) It’s all about liberty, patriotism, tyranny, and manning up! It’s all about the really big words and impressive phrases she can think of! It’s all about “a defining moment in our history!”
Don’t Forget Your Cape!
If you’ve ever fancied yourself as a superhero or an action figure in a fight between good and evil, then this is your big chance! Bachmann wants you to come to Washington D.C. and fight back against Congress because: “This is gangster government at its worst.”
“The American people need to stand up again and make sure that Congress hears them this time,” she said in a release announcing the rally. “The people need to make a House Call on Washington this week and tell their Representatives to vote no to a government take-over of one-fifth of our economy. This is gangster government at its worst.”
(Oh Michele, ha, ha, very amusing. We get the “gangster” reference. Although, technically this makes you a gangster. Guess you didn’t think that one through. But then, you’ve never been a “thinker.”)
Klieg Lights And “YouTubes (sic)”
She wants her “Freedom Fighters” to seek out each and every one of those gangster Congress members and drag them out from behind their desks, look in all the closets, under the furniture, behind the sofa pillows, everywhere!
“Don’t bring your pitchforks — bring your video cameras.”
Really? No pitchforks? That’s unusual since Bachmann, as a routine, often incites violence with relish.
“Bring your video cameras!” You’ll need this when you track down the “gangsters” and capture their answers on film while you pummel them with questions like:
Q. “Rep. Bachmann! Which government health care plan is better, the one you enjoy as a gangster member of Congress, or the one you are preventing members of the public from having?” Or:
Q. “Rep. Bachmann, how much have you received in campaign contributions from the health care industry since you were elected to office in 2007, and from which companies?” Or:
(In reference to your introduction to Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele earlier this year: “You da’ man!”:
Q. WTF? And a follow-up:
Q. No really. WTF??
“You’ll Take Away WHAT Health Care?”
Bachmann also wants to be your personal tour guide when you arrive (she’s been practicing by watching HGTV and everything!) and she will narrate along the way as you hunt down the whites of Nancy Pelosi’s eyes in the Capitol environs:
“We can walk together through Cannon, Longworth, Rayburn, walk through the capitol, sit in the gallery,” Bachmann promised under a banner scrolling “Universal Nightmare” last Friday on Hannity’s America. “I’m asking people to come to Washington D.C. by the carload, and next Thursday at noon I’ll be at a press conference on the steps of the Capitol. I’d love to have every one of your viewers join me so we can go up and down through the halls, find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, ‘Don’t take away my healthcare!'”
Again, Michele you are a little confused as usual. No one has health care. There’s nothing to take away. That’s kind of the problem we’re facing here. Get it yet?
Apparently not. In another Q & A with fellow fake protest organizer and mental genius Glenn Beck, she had a few misrepresentations left to make:
“..all you need to know about how bad this health care bill is, is that members of congress have exempted themselves from it. They don’t want it. It’s good enough for you, not good enough for them, and they’re only giving you 72 hours to read it so they’re embarrassed of their own bill.”
That’s right. It’s SO bad, (bleh!, eew!, ick! and poo!), it’s SO BAD that no member of Congress would be caught dead with………..uh, no member of Congress wants this awful health care plan! However…those Gangsters O’ Congress will exchange evil snickers as they attempt to inflict it on the rest of us!
“Take that! Freedom Fighters! Bad health care for all of you commoners! Who cares about you anyway? Meh!”
It’s also 1,900 pages of pure crap so embarrassing that it would stain every member of Congress’s reputation more than any wide stance, sex with pages and prostitutes, walking the Appalachian Trail, hush money for the teenaged son of your mistress every day run of the mill scandal. Yes, it’s that embarrassing!
So there you have it! Gas up the car, pack your lunch, bring the kids and put on your best “Taking The Bus To Crazy-town” duds! It’s another chance to protest against your own interests! If you’re lucky the insane one might actually show up herself!