Ok, so for the last couple of weeks Conservatives have been drooling all over themselves over the airwaves and hysterically spinning their way through the internet tubes because they are just ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the upcoming elections will set the stage for their big comeback. How do they know this? Well, because Tea Baggers all over the country have been united after a weeping Glenn Beck explained to them all about the conspiracy by the Democrats to pass a health care bill. You know, the one where doctors and nurses will descend on all of our homes in the dead of night armed with syringes and threatening to give us “H1N1 Flu Vaccine” (right; they expect us to believe that?) or hold us at hypodermic needle-point unless we hand over all of our guns and sign on the dotted line of a form that promises us free health care for life (oh. the. horror.)
Add to that, mavericky Facebook note “writer” Sarah Palin came down from on high, completely refreshed after making up “writing” her four pages worth of memoir and declared her undying support for empty slate, deer in the headlights and Fred Rogers look-alike Conservative Party and U.S. House candidate Doug Hoffman, or as Sarah likes to call him: “Hoffamn, Baby, Hoffman.”
After endorsing Hoffman, she threw on a bathing suit, grabbed a flute, and lured away Hoffman’s rival, moderate Republican candidate Dede Scozzafava, “pied piper style” into the open arms of Newt Gingrich. (Sadly for the GOP, upon the realization she was indeed in the arms of alluring sexy-man Newt Gingrich, she fled screaming. So horrifying was his endorsement of her, she switched parties altogether and herself endorsed the Democrat in the race. Tell me HE isn’t one powerful Newt!
So. That is all the proof we NEED that the Conservative Party/GOP is going to sweep today’s elections. By the end of the day, festering groups of Conservatives everywhere will be taunting the Democrats with the words: “We’re baaaack you MORANS! (sic)”
Or so they thought……………………..
Today, because the New Jersey Governor’s race is a very close one, there is an ugly, tried and true rumor being floated by Republicans around the Garden State about the Democrats. It started with a fear-mongering straw man at the National Review. While conjuring up the ghost of Norm Coleman elections past, it then funneled itself into the sewer that is GOP TV FOX Noise, and then in the only logical next step, it wound up on the pages of The Wall Street Journal.
What is this curious “rumor?” Why, it’s one of the favorites of the GOP. Much like yelling “Fire!” in a crowded theater, what would one would yell in a close election when it seems one is about to lose said election?
Two words: “Voter Fraud!”
That trusty old trick used by the GOP lacking common sense and with absolutely no evidence whatsoever, with just one exception. In this case that there is solid proof!
The Solid Proof:
A former Denver Elections Commissioner, who now runs a website devoted to stoking fears about corrupt elections, told viewers that some people shoveling her driveway said they’d heard that “six or seven absentee ballots were sent to dead people.”
Oh. Well then. It must be true.